Real Sissy Husband, Real Sissy Wife: Goddess Rachel Investigates! (Part 1)


“Is there any such thing as a real sissy wife or a real sissy husband?”

I’ve come across that question more than once in My kink travels.

Most of U/s know that the sissy kink is very popular. Within it, fantasies about life as a sissy spouse abound. I’m not surprised, however, that some wonder if such relationships exist in the fantasy realm alone.

Do you assume that to be the case?

I am privileged to know better!

I’ve been involved in the training of sissies and in facilitating sissification fantasies for quite a while. I’ve learned, therefore, that if there isn’t a rule 34 for relationships, there should be. It would go something like this: If there’s a relationship model of which you can conceive, someone is living it.

That said, I realize that few are privileged, as I am, to have access to the thoughts, fantasies, and lifestyles of a sizable sampling of those who live outside of the sexual and social mainstream. I employed this privilege to canvas My kinky community: Are you a real sissy husband or wife?

Obviously, I got several answers in the affirmative!

I followed up that initial question with several others about the nature of their identity as a sissy, and their relationship dynamic as a whole. I learned more than I can adequately share in one installment, so this will be the first of a few.

Join Me in delving into the world of the real sissy spouse!


A few procedural notes


Let’s take some things for granted from the start:

  • How each sissy defines their identity is as individual as the sissy.
  • How their sissy identity is manifested is similarly unique.

Readers are asked to take the reflections of participating sissies at face value, even if their understanding of the sissy kink is different than what they read.

Also, the thesis query is a bit more complicated than it may appear at first glance. Before I could send out antennae, I had to decide on a definition for what constitutes a real sissy husband or wife, at least for My purposes.

Here’s what I came up with:

A sissy whose identity as such is openly acknowledged, accepted, encouraged, or even required by their spouse.

Lastly, though I intend this to be a series, it has to end somewhere! I’ve decided, therefore, to distill the generous reflections I received down to some essential observations. I welcome feedback, and will try to take it into account in future installments.

Now then, let’s begin with how Our sissies identify.


Sissy Husband or Sissy Wife?


Despite My familiarity with the sissy kink, I must admit that I assumed incorrectly! I expected more sissy wives than husbands. Perhaps, because in My experience training sissies, and based on what I see on social media, the goal for many seems to be to become as feminine as possible.

If I had to guess, I’d say the emphasis on the hyper feminine in the sissy social media presence is due to the fact that the sissy kink is often a stepping stone for some gurls in the process of clarifying their true gender identity. It may also involve the preponderance of sissy sluts in the subculture. In this, access to cock is the goal. I’ve supposed that sissy sluts at least subconsciously gamble on increased femininity garnering them to access to more cock.

“Reports from the field” I am privy to seem to indicate that they play a winning hand!

But that’s a story for another day.

Whatever the reason for My errant assumption, it turns out the exact opposite is the case. “Sissy wives” were in the vast minority. A full 75% of participating sissies identify as sissy husbands.


Why a real sissy husband ?


In short, because by their own reckoning, they are submissive males at their core. Their sissification is part of overall male submission to a dominant woman, rather than a facet of their gender identity.

Some sissies were actually quite protective of their status as males. Apparently, a few at least occasionally function in the bedroom as traditionally expected. In at least one case, sissy’s spouse insists that the male core identity be maintained, though she nourishes the sissy identity in her husband.

She further differentiates between “feminization” and “sissification”, under the belief that the femininity is not a source of humiliation.

(I resonate with this, incidentally. In practice, I’ve used the terms interchangeably. For convenience’s sake, I’m likely to continue. But not, now, without circumspection.)

Perhaps there is some correlation between the fact that the real sissy husbands surveyed all had female partners. The sissy wives all had male partners. I don’t suppose this would hold true with a larger sample size, but it’s the case among those who responded this time around.

So, what about the genesis of the sissy identity itself? When did O/ur sissies, become sissies? And at what point did their sissy identity and their relationship intersect?

Read on!


The majority of sissies surveyed became so within their relationship.


I must admit I was also surprised by this finding!

I pictured a sissy hiding his or he/r zest for sissification and submission from their partner at first, revealing it after a time. Or, upon being discovered, finding that their partner was at the very least okay with it.

This scenario is partly true in at least one case. Sissy Shantell crossdressed for most of their life, and continued to do so in secret after their relationship began.

But even in that case, they draw a bold line between their status as crossdresser and that of sissy, the change starting about four years ago. Their wife discovered their secret, and “decided to use it to her advantage”, as Shantell puts it.

In the more straightforward cases of sissy husbands starting their relationships completely outside of the sissy kink, it grew out of a pre-existing D/s dynamic. It fascinated Me to note a common seed: pegging.

I’ll bet the reader is wondering the same thing I am: What do these sissy husbands think pegging had to do with their eventually becoming sissies?

But I think I’ll make you wait for My findings and ruminations about that, and more.

Besides, in the writing of this essay, I’ve conceived of some follow-up questions that I think I’ll ask O/ur participants, the answers to which can only enrich O/ur exploration.

In the next installment, I will explore more commonalities between O/ur respondents, and naturally, more differences.

I’m looking forward to further discovery already, aren’t you?

I hope you’ll join Me.